Remember around this time last year when I talked about how hard breastfeeding was? I mean, the first few weeks are always hard for everyone, but I never anticipated all of the other hard things we experienced. There were several moments when I wanted to quit. I remember thinking so many times how I couldn’t wait for this to be over!
And now, we’re 17 months in and our nursing journey is coming to an end.
Actually, it’s probably over. But I hold on to the random every few day nursing sessions I can get in (which usually last all of 30-60 seconds).
It’s funny to look back over this last almost year and half and see how far we’ve come. How far I’ve come. Carter has pretty much always been wonderful. He only at first had some latch issues, but after a day or so those were cleared up and he’s consistently nursed like a champ.
Myself, on the other hand, have had many ups and downs. I struggled with him not taking a bottle or a pacifier. I struggled being the sole source of his food and comfort. I struggled being attached to a baby in a way I had never been before.
But now I look back and realize how fast that time went. How we’re now at the end and I’m like wait… I’m not ready for it to be over yet!
There were so many moments when I couldn’t bear to feed him one more time. The thought of nursing him AGAIN made my skin crawl. Some of those feelings were directly related to my postpartum depression, but others were just the rollercoaster of emotions that you go through when nursing your baby. I’ve never sacrificed so much than I did during those first 12 months of breastfeeding.
We made it as far as we could. And the end of our journey is likely because I got pregnant a lot sooner than expected which tends to change the way your milk tastes and can diminish your supply. Thankfully, it happened past the 12 month mark so we exceeded our goal above and beyond and I no longer was worried about supply or keeping up with his needs.
When he turned one I shared how we were extending our breastfeeding into toddlerhood because I wanted the weaning process to be as painless as possible for both of us. I’m so happy that it worked exactly as I hoped. We weaned on his time, so there hasn’t been a single moment of stress for either of us.
And this is what it looks like to be at the end. When a booboo happens and he just needs some soothing, when he feels overwhelmed and needs some comfort or the occasional nurse before a nap or bedtime. At this point, I say that he is weaned because my supply is next to nothing and he nurses maybe once every few days, if that.
We did it.